59. Leaving Her Corporate Career & Embracing Authenticity with Allison Hare

Adam: 0:00

welcome, revolutionary Freedom. Today we have a powerhouse on the rise and getting stronger. Allison Hare is with us. She's a former sales executive turned lifestyle entrepreneur. She's the host of the award-winning top 1.5% globally ranked podcast late learner and founded the effective collective membership designed for high performing mothers. That are ready for a new chapter. I know the moms love revolutionary freedom, so we're gonna give it to'em. Allison helps busy professional women reconnect with their most alive selves. Her podcast Late Learner is for the person who almost told herself, it's too late, Alison, let's kick some ass today. How are you?

Allison: 0:44

I'm excited to be here, Adam. Thank you.

Adam: 0:47

Yes, me too. We ha we share our coaching mastermind and I'm telling you, when you up the level of the energy of those you associate in the room, you find yourself rising. And I feel like I'm a beneficiary of that today as well,

Allison: 1:03

Me too. We're linking arms. We're linking arms in this journey.

Adam: 1:08

Absolutely. We're in the shore. David Goggin's. He talks about getting wet and sandy and SEAL training and that's, I did that with my kid already this week too. It's, that is there's, it's a powerful place to be when you're linked in common goal.

Allison: 1:19

Yeah.

Adam: 1:20

Alright. Busy professional women that have almost believed the lie that it's too late. Maybe she's forgotten where she's at in life. I help people recover their true identity, get back to their authenticity, live holistically aligned with their hearts desires. You're complimentary to that big time. So you know, why don't you kick us off with maybe a little bit of your story, how late Learner was born, how your mission was born, and yeah, give us a gist of the philosophies that you help women with, and I'm sure that men are gonna benefit too. So guys, relax.

Allison: 1:56

relax. You know what's funny is that the more, and I'll get into my story, but the more vulnerable I share, and typically my audience is female. But I'll tell you, Adam, I hear from so many men who respond back and say, thank you so much. I struggle with this as well. And I think it is fascinating and I think that men. Good men are very maligned in the society in ways that don't allow them to express their emotions fully. Like men and women both have full, full range of emotions, but are not always allowed to express them. So I really appreciate. The opportunity to share my story with your audience and to talk to you. Yes, we do have a lot of overlap. You help people get unstuck. I help people not only get unstuck, but become alive again. It's a reclaiming of vibrance and vitality that may be lost in the shuffle of. Of the cultural expectations of checking all the boxes. And I left my corporate career. I've been in technology sales for over 20 plus years, and I left my corporate job and career a year ago. And I'll tell you, Adam, I was so burnt out. So burned out it, and it was one of those things where I have a degree in broadcasting and my entire life I loved the art of public speaking. I love the art of sharing a powerful message that could change and impact people. But my mother had taught me long ago. She said, Alison never rely on a man to make money. Always make your own. And my mom was a stay-at-home mom. She had six kids and my father traveled around the world. My mom did everything, and she regretted it. I think she, I don't think she regretted having us, but I think she regretted. Not having options and not being able to make money on her own. And so me and my sisters, she beat it into our heads and I took that of, never rely on a man to make money. Always make your own. When I look. back at my life, every single opportunity I had to do something like the fun thing or the creative thing. I wanted to be a radio dj, but it didn't make money, and I kept picking the money every single step of the way. So I kept making practical decisions, but almost abandoning the creative side that just never had a place to play. And I'm 48 now, and so when I left my corporate job at 47, I had no plan, and it was one of those things where I. It was so clear that I had started a podcast four years ago as you had so kindly and generously mentioned. It's called Late Learner, and I launched it four years ago and I felt completely alive. I wanted to make an impact. I think I was, when I started it. I signed up for some podcast workshop. I had no idea what I would talk about, what I was good at, what, like I just signed up for it. I just paid money, signed up and said, let me just figure this out. But what I knew is, especially back then, there was so much political discourse. There was so much there was so much. So many broken systems that I was witnessing or experiencing on my own around healthcare and education, and especially maternal healthcare. And I was like, one vote every two years is not enough. How do I make a bigger impact? So I. I didn't know what I was gonna do. I started this podcast and it felt it, it feels like when I get on this microphone that I completely am in my element. Whether or not I'm saying anything worthy, I don't know, but it. Feels like I'm having meaningful, useful conversations that move the needle and help people understand things in a different way. I am not the expert. I'm just the guide. So I'll bring on experts. I've had Seth Godin, like incredible thought leaders, Jesse Itzler. I've had Muriel Hemingway, like the famous actress, and. If you know who those people are, they're big in their circles. If you don't, just trust me, they're big in their circles. But I've had incredible thought, thought leaders on that are offering maybe a different approach from the norm. That works. And so it is a really thought-provoking thing. So as I was at work, doing the professional sales thing, I'm making I'm a mother of two, I have two kids in private school. I had a great big income and I just walked away from it without Annette and I was like, There's gotta be something more. This hurts too much to show up to work every day and feel like I am constricted. Where I would get on the microphone and feel expansive, and I'm like, why does this feel so good? And why does just showing up at work feel so bad? And it wasn't that the work environment was so bad. It was almost like I was living in a different body. I was living in a different, and I taught, told myself for many years, I I told myself that let me do this so I can make money and, ha. And it was fine. It was fine. But let me do something on the side so I can fill my soul. So this was like paying the bills. This was, this other thing was filling my soul. And it got to the point where my soul was being crushed by the corporate world, and I had a series of really awful bosses. Just awful, just soul crushing the wrong match, the wrong match, where I was like, I just can't do it. I just can't do it. So I left my corporate career and it was from a tarot reading. I'm not gonna lie, we have these very interesting.

Adam: 8:10

look. I think my mother gave birth to me or conceived me partly off of a TA reading. So it's, yeah. Anyway, she's always called me an accident, so maybe she read, they read the cards wrong.

Allison: 8:24

Maybe, I don't know, but like a terror reading and I was like, that's it's. time to go. So I had some really real conversations with my husband. We're a two income household and I took one income completely away and a lot has changed and had to change and shift since since that happened. And when I left, I made one decision and that was I wasn't gonna make any decisions until I get to hear my own voice there was so much cultural conditioning.

Adam: 8:54

Ooh, timestamp!

Allison: 8:57

There was so much cultural conditioning that was going on and I remember, so another kind of fun thing, Adam and this was part of the story too, where it sounds like it's fun and frivolous, but it actually was vital to the change that I made and vital to what I teach now and thi this was a few years ago when I was really in the grind of. The corporate life, just miserable at work, but putting on the face, wearing the mask, just, I cared about my job, I care about, the company. I cared about doing a good job. It wasn't like I was, guns blazing for everybody. It was not that way. I really wanted to be great at it, and I just, it was almost like. Can you be somebody you're not? And I just couldn't fake it anymore. And I ended up I, I used to go to a trainer, like a fitness trainer, and I would go from five in the morning until five 30 and I'd work with a trainer and that was the only time I had from five 30 to, 10 o'clock or nine or whatever time at night. I was committed. I was, it was owed to somebody else. I was working, I was taking the kids somewhere. I was working on the podcast. I was with my husband, like it was just, every moment was scheduled, so I didn't have time to do anything else. And so I would go and work with a trainer and one week my trainer was out of town and it was around Christmas. And so I had a little bit of flexibility and flexibility from work. And I went in and I was like, all right I need to go work out somewhere. So I'm looking in like class pass, where they have a lot of different options and I'm looking for like strength training or something and I'm like, wait a minute, I don't wanna do that. What do I really wanna do? And I never asked that question before. And I found a dance class and I was like, Let me try it out. And I stumbled on this dance class and I felt like I was struck by lightning and not that I and I don't have a dance background, I didn't pick up the moves or anything. It was, like in the dark. So you weren't like in your head looking in the mirror. It was like the lights were low, the music was loud, and it was like a follow along format. And I remember feeling like I, I felt like this intense rush go through my body. And I remember asking myself, Am I allowed to feel this good? I just had not felt this good. I hadn't given myself permission because I was busy punishing myself with all the things that I had to do I should do, and it was the start of something that, this was January of 2020. And then of course the pandemic hit. So I started rearranging my whole life to go to these classes and I would, show up at work in the office in these suits. And I would leave for lunch and hope I didn't get caught for going too long, and I'd come back sweaty and gross and Probably stinking, but it was like, it felt like this jolt of energy that I just hadn't felt. And and it was like the key to wait a minute, if I can feel or have this jolt of energy by choosing something that. Lights me up. That feels nourishing, that feels good. That allows me to, in my case, it's move my body. Maybe for listeners, maybe it's like pulling weeds. Maybe it's something that is, knitting or something that lights you up. I would ask you listener, to think about those things that maybe you forgot to do cuz you thought, I don't have time to, I would love to go to a dance class. I would love to go to the gym at all. I would love to do, to sit on my back porch and read a book, but I just don't have time. And I would tell you, and ask you, can you pause and say what else? What boundary can you set? That you can maybe start to tiny, make some tiny shifts and micro choices to maybe give yourself a little bit of that and see what happens. And so I became a dance instructor over the pandemic. I did it remotely and I just felt like I wanna give this to people. It feels so good. It's three years later. I'm not the greatest dancer, but I will bring energy. And What. I think is so amazing about that, that the podcast and the dancing were like two clear things that allowed me to feel like dancing. Podcast, my family life feels expansive. It feels like I belong here. Work felt restrictive. It felt intense. It felt constricting where, my husband would walk by my office and he would see me slumped over the keyboard crying between meetings. And I am not a crier, and I was just like, I was just like trying to, I was, do you need a hug, Adam?

Adam: 14:04

No, I'm not crying at the

Allison: 14:05

okay. I'm here to give you a moment. But he would be like, what the F is going on, Alison? And I'm like, I gotta do this. My, we can't afford for me to leave, I gotta do this. And when I left my corporate job, my, like I said, I just needed to hear my own voice. And I remember a few days after I'd left and I had nowhere to go. I had no job to do. I was just free, and. I remember my, something was going on in our house where I was learning a dance routine online, in my husband's home office. So my husband's there, he's working. He's sure, come on in. So I'm doing it, and the voice in my head was so loud at him, it said, How dare you. You should be ashamed of yourself that your husband is working so hard, so you can sit here and dance. What is wrong with you? And I was like, oh, this has to stop. Like you could hear. All of the shame and the discipline and all of the, and I am type A, like I'm a type A personality and all of that programming and all of that shame was like trying to shame me out of doing something fun. And that's why I said it's not fun, frivolous, it's like vital to your vibrance is doing. Is doing those things that light you up, even if they're tiny, even if it is lighting a candle, or using the good China or wearing your fancy clothes to, shake Shack or something because It's fun, or because it makes you feel good, whatever, I think it's so much more accessible. Than people realize, but I think it's critical to our ability to stay engaged in our career. And I'm not saying, for everybody to quit their job. For me it just, I had just

Adam: 15:59

Most should

Allison: 16:00

it. Mo should Okay. Yeah. That's not the ans it's not always the answer, but if it is, I will cheer you on and if it is not, I will help you, I'll help you find your spark again. And so it, it just has been an amazing journey that when I left, I started doing all kinds of unconventional things to hear my voice. And some were traditional, like I'd, I have a therapist and. Do all that kind of stuff. And some were unconventional that I would do 12 hour walks with no, cell phone. I did that twice. It's Colin o Brady, if you're familiar with his his concept of the 12 hour walk. I've done solo overnight hikes. I've done I climbed the Manitou Incline, which is like the steepest incline of Colorado. I've done psychedelic assisted therapy. To trying to help Deprogram and I have a lot of money mindset stuff that's like deeply embedded. I think a lot of it is generational that I'm trying to just unwind. And so where that leads me now is how there has to be a way, like I have bet the farm on myself that I can figure out how to work and live without burnout. And without sacrificing income. And I always knew that the income would come when I was fully aligned, and what does that look like and how can I teach other people to be fully aligned so they can choose what their income is, what their life looks like, whatever that is. I think more of what I do is more around the lifestyle. Side of it. And I remember a friend of mine asked me as I'm, I'm always in the struggle, right? I'm always trying to figure it out. And my friend had asked me astutely and said, when you're 80 years old and you look back, what do you want your life to look like? And I was like, oh, right now. Like I have freedom. I have a family that loves me. I have a roof over my head. I have an amazing husband and family, and I have freedom to explore anything that makes me curious and have a platform to be able to do it. Why would I need more? What am I running towards? And that's the same thing of the American way is more. But it's like filling an empty, an unfillable bucket. And if you have enough now, why isn't it enough? And I think that people like me who have done everything, they've checked all the boxes, they've, gotten the corner office or they have the title, they have the cars. They're not worried about putting food on their table. And they are look around and they're like I have the family, but I'm not happy. I'm not fulfilled. And it's almost embar I don't know that a lot of people would admit that. Is this all there is? Like, where was the fulfillment box? I wanted to check that off. And I wonder, I think a lot of women feel shame that, wait a minute, I'm not. I have so much, I should be grateful. Why isn't it enough? So it's a really weird. Layer of is this, is that all there is and do I deserve more? And so I think there's a lot of self-worth that's wound up in there.

Adam: 19:30

Man. I really appreciate letting us in on the story and the genesis of this. I want to go all the way back to the point where you left your corporate job without a

Allison: 19:40

Yeah.

Adam: 19:40

and this isn't I, and I fully understand and appreciate for anyone listening that if you're a single income provider, some of these things might not directly apply to you. in terms of strategy or being able to leave without a plan if you're trying to feed other mouths as well. At the same time, like there's wisdom that goes along with these decisions, most of which I ignored up until this point in my life growing up. But I also understand very well, I, friends and family watch me leave. I, I had nursing career for 10 years. All sorts of different things. Our move to Florida was leaving a healthy six figure position as a sea level director in sales, and when that collapsed, I saw that ship burning down. We're like, you know what, it's time to go. And we moved our family a six to the Tampa Bay area. With no immediate plan to how we were going to get bred the next day or to pay those bills when they come. But what I understood, I had a few things that I knew about myself in terms of my own skill level and confidence, and for me and my life and my wife and I, we believed that there was an aspect a significant aspect in the core of that, that God was leading us to do certain things. And, but there was also, you have to apply some smarts to it. And We did some of those things. I'm wondering for you, without necessarily the particular strategy, the more of the mindset when you left, what was it?

Allison: 21:11

It was not without freakouts, it wasn't without, I remember I had decided I was going to leave. I didn't tell anybody yet. It was in January. It was the end of our fiscal year. If you are in sales and know working for big technology companies, I work for DocuSign and Salesforce and adp. There's a lot of intense pressure. Yeah. There's a lot of intense pressure, that, that come along with having that kind of high stake sales world. And I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't breathe, and I thought I was having a heart attack and I just, I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating outta my chest. I thought I was having a heart attack. I'd never had a panic attack, but apparently that's what it was. And I remember that. I was so scared. And I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know how to help. I knew I was gonna be leaving. And that week following that panic attack, I had four massages in a week, and not one of them helped. And what I realized is that all of that energy and anxiety was stuck in my body. It was just plain stuck. There wasn't a jackhammer on the planet that would've been able to release the tension in my shoulders. And how do I unwind that? And juxtapositioning the physical stuff that was going on with me with the mental mindset shift of, oh my God, never rely on a man to make money, never rely on a man to make money, and knowing that I'm highly skilled and could get a job if I wanted to in different areas and continuously saying no. There's something more. And so even over after leaving and, being in a position where I'm like, I gotta get a job. I don't know how we're gonna keep doing this. Like we had a set amount of time and that time ran out and, I'm like, I've gotta get a job. And so I'd start looking at traditional jobs and all of a sudden I would feel that tension come back in my body and a voice would come and say, Not yet. Alison, you're so close. You are on the right track. So it was almost like first I had to hear my own voice, and whether that is God or the universe or whatever your higher power is, it felt like it felt very divine of just no. This is not right. Not yet. And they were great jobs. They were great opportunities, but they would've taken so much time away and it was truly. I could feel the corporate, the backpack like the corporate backpack that just is too heavy to fit on my back right now. I just could feel it and knew it wasn't right.

Adam: 23:52

man. Okay, so you teed up something. No decisions until I hear my own voice. I relate to something similar, but different, but similar that I did back in 2018 We talked about unlearning and you deal with a lot of these things. And when it comes to stripping away of the installed identities. There's a lot of crossover to my material here, and I want your flavor for it on the show now. I think those two can come together. No decisions until I hear my own voice. Unlearning. Stripping away the installed identities. Simple, practical action wise. Listeners driving to work, they're in the car. Maybe they're in a car line for school. Who knows what it is in the shower? Listening. That's a big spot right at night going to bed.

Allison: 24:37

Right.

Adam: 24:38

What can you give this person listening right now who can take this simple, practical action to begin to learn to undo what the world has put on them and the conditioning that they're operating through versus them being able to hear their own voice? And understanding what their soul is requesting of them, what their soul is, probably begging of them, what is something we can do to raise that awareness?

Allison: 25:12

The easiest, quickest way to start to unlearn is to go in nature. And if that means. I'll walk outside for five minutes, let it be a walk outside. And so one of the things that I do with my effective collective Mastermind is I teach people the easiest way to do this. And this is super fun. It's super easy, it's super accessible, is your one goal a day is to lower. Your nervous system is to relax your nervous system. So how do you do that? All you need to do is do whatever it is. In your life. That feels really good. And so what I always tell people is make a list of 20 things. 20. Maybe it's in activities, maybe it's in experience, maybe it's something that just feels nourishing. This is not Take 80 Red Bulls or hit your shot of espresso at three o'clock. This is Just take It takes 10 minutes, right? Like 10 minutes. Just write down 20 things. Stream of consciousness. They could be something so small, like enjoying a cup of tea instead of pounding the coffee, cuz you gotta get it, or like shoving food in your face when maybe you would rather slow down and enjoy it. And it could be as simple as simply putting your hand on your heart. Because when you physically put your hand on your heart, it automatically tells your body. It's okay to relax and that you're also sending it love. And what I think is so interesting about that is when you have the ability to calm your nervous system down, I tell people, just do whatever it is. When you can start to feel your shoulders lower, even if it's for a moment, and that's it. And just do that once a day and the more you start doing it again, these are micro choices, right? The more you start doing that, the more it feels better. And when it starts to feel better, when you start to notice

Adam: 27:25

a shift,

Allison: 27:26

yeah, like you're just noticing the shift, just get to the shift. And that could take. 30 seconds. It could take five minutes. Maybe it is taking a pickleball class, trying something new, taking a new direction. You're

Adam: 27:40

My wife and I are going on a. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got excited.

Allison: 27:44

I wanna hear, are you doing

Adam: 27:45

doing something. No, but we're doing a class. We've never done these things. We have 26 years together and we've never done like little fun class stuff. So we're gonna go and do actual clay pottery

Allison: 27:58

Ooh. I love it. I, Adam, will you, and I'm serious about this, will you tell me how it goes, like how you feel?

Adam: 28:08

Okay.

Allison: 28:09

I really wanna know, because I think even

Adam: 28:11

putting it in my show, in my notes,

Allison: 28:12

But even if it's something you don't really care about, but it's something new, at least you're trying something new and it is reprogramming your neuro pathways a little bit, that you have to expand the parameters of your schedule. You have to expand the parameters of your routine, and that is how you invite possibility. That's how you invite growth. And what I'm doing is, I call it fractures of light. It essentially is when you've outgrown your container and that container starts to crack. And in those cracks are where you see the light. And maybe that is. Lighting that candle or putting your hand on your heart, or even meditating for a minute, or taking a 30 minute dance class at home or doing some YouTube, yoga thing. Just anything that's going to calm your nervous system down those fractures of light. What you wanna do is you wanna keep doing that, so you make that light brighter. You bring the light in because it's about you. It's about you.

Adam: 29:12

YouTube yoga. And I'll mention her right now because I like her stuff so much and I, for anybody to listen. Who wants to check her out? Sarah Beth Yoga. Sarah with, I don't think there's an H. Doesn't matter. Her channel's huge.

Allison: 29:25

My husband does her yoga. He loves it. He does her Yoga. dudes like it.

Adam: 29:32

like it because she, while it's calming and it's serene and it lets you relax, I've found even with other men's yoga, they are a little too flowery for me. They're a little too woowoo or they're distracting because the person has their dog there and the dog's making mouth noises like it doesn't even matter. Sarah has a delivery that's clean and she's got all sorts of different topics. And I started using her stuff years, some years ago because of my own ptsd with anxiety issues and tension that I'd carry during the day. And it's part of my Sunrise system that I use, that I've developed. But she's a part of it. She comes and goes in my life at different times. But Sarah Beth lover I want to tell, mention why we, I decided to look up that pottery class thing. And this is gonna reach for people who've been in relationships maybe for a long time. Or you ha it's been long enough that maybe your date life got a little stale. And so by not de edifying my wife whatsoever, because we do have a strong relationship, did I tell you that we were divorced?

Allison: 30:37

Yeah.

Adam: 30:39

I did tell you that. Okay. So we have been divorced and people know our story, so I'm not gonna get into it again here. But we are not divorced anymore. We, but date night. Four kids career, we're both building new careers. She's a personal trainer and I'm doing my thing and it can still just be like, okay let's get date night done. Let's, maybe it's more than check the box, but it's not enough to keep it fresh, innovating and invigorating for our relationship. Injecting energy. It wasn't there. And we were Gulf side in Bradenton and we're at this dinner, our table is on the rail, and then the water's right there and we're watching boat like it doesn't. We didn't have anything like that in Detroit. Lemme just tell you, we left that night and we're like, after some conversation we go, date night needs some lovings, date night needs some love. And then we're like, we just gotta do something different. But by doing something different, because I understand this possibility that when you go do something different, you become a learner again. You put yourself into a new position.

Allison: 31:43

Late learner.

Adam: 31:44

is joining me. We, I'm telling you, I, I joined up with a Toastmasters chapter over the last month or two. My son's now coming

Allison: 31:51

Oh, I love

Adam: 31:52

and when you can enter into a room, This is A two part of it, but when you can enter into something where you're brand new and you can be first day again at something and be the rookie all over again, especially the more professional or competent you are in your skills. If you're an expert at something, go down and get dumb at something like, Be a rookie in the room and all of a sudden you're nervous again. You got butterflies, but you're also more awake. You're more alert and alive, and then you start making other connections through observations and the rabbit trail goes down. But yeah, so I wanted to mention that. That is a big one.

Allison: 32:30

I love

Adam: 32:31

allison, it's been amazing spending time with you today. We're gonna, we're gonna make sure that this goes out. The, your resources that you provide will be in the show notes. People can follow you. The simple, practical action of hearing your own voice, finding these ways to increase your awareness. This is blessing somebody right now where do you want people to find you

Allison: 32:47

Thank you Adam so much. What a gift to talk to you and what a gift you're giving as well. Allison Hare dot com is my website or Instagram, Allison underscore Hare. But thank you so very much for this Oh and Late Learner Podcast. Late Learner.

Adam: 33:02

we'll include it all in the show notes, but if you're on the fly, check her out right now if she struck a chord for you, god bless you. We'll talk later.

Allison: 33:08

Thank you Adam.